jerkidiot:

my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”

are you sure mom

are you sure these are my clothes

englland:

middle schoolers complaining about how stressful school is

setheverman:

songllama:

setheverman:

american things that are surely fictional:

• donald trump
  
• blue raspberry
  
• wearing shoes indoors
  
• texas?????
  

Actually, I can vouch for Texas, my brother lives there.

• your brother
  

vancityreynolds:

Husband: *Gives long 10 minute vow about his love for me*

Me: